what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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