I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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