She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize