Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
