If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
