none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
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