needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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