she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize