I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
