don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
