How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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