lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
