im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize