Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
