Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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