He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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