I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
