So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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