Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
