There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It's just like the Real World with babies
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
