Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize