i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
