Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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