im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
