too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
