the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
