Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize