Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Actions speak louder than pants.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
