hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
