I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You're a waste of cheezeits
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
