Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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