I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
