He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
