We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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