Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
