We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
