Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
