I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
