Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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