girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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