she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
