What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
