Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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