i would punch a child for taco bell
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
