im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
