All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize