I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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