i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
