Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
