Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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