you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
