It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
