Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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