I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
