My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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