This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
