Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Say something about gay babies.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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