3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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