my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
