Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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