it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
