he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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