put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
sarcasm needs its own font
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
