I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
