So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
